March 29, 2008

Being Nice To People, Right?

As most of you know I am nice and I try hard to stay that way and be that way and have almost all people like me. I've heard others say that 'not everybody is going to like you all the time' and my thoughts are 'why not? I can try and be nice to everybody and they'll all like me!' Who cares if people don't like me - and I don't like all people, but that doesn't mean I don't want them to like me... right??

I am trying to overcome this - it's actually considered a problem to be so congenial when you have panic disorder. You are supposed to be tough, put your needs above other people's, and try to express yourself in non-passive ways. I don't always succeed in doing this:

Case in point: recently I went to try a new OBGYN (some of you may know why) and she was pretty nice and definitely competent. But when I asked her about going off my anti-depressants, she did say 'Why don't you just be happy!' and continued to be rather flippant about my needs by saying (after I explained the drugs were for anxiety) 'well I am sure there is something else you can do'.

Sure there are other things one can do to combat anxiety, and I was inquiring about going off the drugs because I wanted to try to use some of the other coping skills. Granted, she was perhaps focusing on the 'if you get pregnant' area and it's not good to be on those pills, if you can help it. However, is there any need to say 'just be happy' to someone who is on anti-depressants? It may be over prescribed, but for those of us who are on it for actual reasons, it isn't comforting to have the entire blame for how we are feeling placed at our feet. It isn't as if we aren't already blaming ourselves, believe it or not we feel incredibly guilty about our feelings (or at least I did and do).

And yet, it took my mother convincing me that having an OB who wasn't equally focused on my needs and my (potential) baby's needs to see that I needed to find another option. It's true, her being nice enough to me, and me worrying about her feelings if I left her practice, influenced me to the point that I wouldn't have left. It is part of anxiety to sacrifice your needs and feelings above other people's... but this was a little ridiculous even for me.

So thanks Mom, for convincing me to move on. And wish me luck in finding another OB in the area!

Posted by 10lees at 07:50 PM | Comments (6)

March 27, 2008

New TV Shows

Not that I'm not excited about the return of my older TV shows, but I found a new HILARIOUS one - Miss Guided...

It's about a woman who graduates from high school (obviously) and then comes back after college to be the Guidance Counselor. Quite frankly, filled with a few SNL alums, it's the best thing currently on TV...

Watch it next Thursday, check your TV listing.

Posted by 10lees at 08:52 PM | Comments (1)

March 26, 2008

Snow Here!

Yep, it's been snowing for about an hour here. Seriously! I can't believe it and it is sticking - though not too much.

Maybe I won't have to go to work tomorrow.... or at least perhaps to work late!

Posted by 10lees at 07:05 PM | Comments (3)

March 23, 2008

Happy Easter!

Happy Easter to everyone! I hope you had a great day and got lots of candy!

We picked up the kids at around 9am and then went out to eat breakfast - which was a delicious Mrs. Turners (a greasy spoon in our town). The kids don't enjoy it as much as we do, but it's better than Shari's (or for those of you in the midwest - Perkins) JUST because it's a hometown restaurant.

Then we came home and did an indoor easter egg hunt, since it was rainy outside. They each got lots of candy - in addition to what was already in their baskets. Ryan also got a plastic grenade and a play gun, Autumn got some Webkinz stuff (if you haven't heard of Webkinz then you must not have children in your life at all).

I am enjoying another day off, but wishing for more days. I have a lot going on at work right now, which is why I haven't been posting much. Nothing too extreme or life changing, just busyness. I can't complain too much, Spring Break is coming up and I am taking a whole week off in April! We haven't decided where we are going yet, but it's probably within driving distance. Sadly this means it might cost more than a plane trip with the price of gas being what it is.

Have a wonderful rest of the day!

Posted by 10lees at 12:56 PM | Comments (1)

March 12, 2008

Planning Other's Life

My family was very close growing up and for some reason my brother and I never went through the angsty teenager phase. Or at least the part of it that leads you to hate hanging out with your family. My mom, bro and I would go to movies together until I moved to MN; and my bro and I went to movies together alone as well - often those who saw us thought we were dating (apparently our last name was not well known otherwise classmates might have noticed that we HAD THE SAME ONE!). So is it any mystery that I want my family to live close to me now that we are all older and married?

So to that end I have been planning, or rather plotting, how to get everybody to move here - because I am not moving 'there'. Now I can't force anybody to move, but isn't this house great for my brother? Of course if he needed something a little bit cheaper we have those houses as well. And this house would be great for my mom!

Now if only they'd bend to MY needs, right?

Posted by 10lees at 06:47 PM | Comments (15)

March 10, 2008

Magical Powers

Each of us has a special, or even magical, power... it's just that it's mostly mundane. For example, my magical power is that since 2003 I have chosen egg cartons without broken eggs. I can't remember the last time I had to go back and choose a second carton. It's pretty awesome, although I'm not going to save the world anytime soon by choosing the right carton of eggs. Not to mention the fact that I've jinxed myself now...

I did injure myself this weekend, I think it was the gardening that did it. I was cutting back a bush (after planting a Bleeding Heart, some daffodils, and pansies) and then I went to clean out my car and bent over - and something in my lower back decided I shouldn't stand back up again. So I haven't... for about a day and a half... I hope to feel better soon, I am taking Aleve and using my heating pad. Tomorrow if it still feels really bad I'll probably run to the Chiropractor, one with some good massage therapists!

Posted by 10lees at 07:32 PM | Comments (8)

March 02, 2008

Planning... And Such

We are planning to go on a Spring Break trip during early April - and it should be exciting. The problem is where to go and when? So I am trying to plan it out - first I am thinking we travel to the Olympic National Forest and then travelling down the Washington/Oregon coast... but I am rather mystified as to what to do afterwards. We went down the Oregon coast for our summer trip last year and it was fun. I am sure there are more things to do on the Oregon coast that we haven't done yet. Any suggestions?

I did watch the movie 'Who Killed The Electric Car?' and it was very interesting. I would reccommend it for watching to anybody. It is a little harsh on consumers, I believe, because most consumers didn't know the car was available. Most of my readers wouldn't know as it was only available in CA during the late 90s or early 00s. The sad thing is that they had leased all the cars and didn't allow the consumers to keep them. Watch the documentary, it has been on Discovery recently.

Since the purpose of a blog is to be open, I am letting you all know that in the next month I am going to get off my anti-depressant, which has been used as an anti-anxiety in my case, so I'd appriciate all your prayers as I hope not to have a complete resurgant of regular panic attacks. And perhaps I will be attending more Yoga... :-)

Posted by 10lees at 05:40 PM | Comments (15)