As most of you know I am nice and I try hard to stay that way and be that way and have almost all people like me. I've heard others say that 'not everybody is going to like you all the time' and my thoughts are 'why not? I can try and be nice to everybody and they'll all like me!' Who cares if people don't like me - and I don't like all people, but that doesn't mean I don't want them to like me... right??
I am trying to overcome this - it's actually considered a problem to be so congenial when you have panic disorder. You are supposed to be tough, put your needs above other people's, and try to express yourself in non-passive ways. I don't always succeed in doing this:
Case in point: recently I went to try a new OBGYN (some of you may know why) and she was pretty nice and definitely competent. But when I asked her about going off my anti-depressants, she did say 'Why don't you just be happy!' and continued to be rather flippant about my needs by saying (after I explained the drugs were for anxiety) 'well I am sure there is something else you can do'.
Sure there are other things one can do to combat anxiety, and I was inquiring about going off the drugs because I wanted to try to use some of the other coping skills. Granted, she was perhaps focusing on the 'if you get pregnant' area and it's not good to be on those pills, if you can help it. However, is there any need to say 'just be happy' to someone who is on anti-depressants? It may be over prescribed, but for those of us who are on it for actual reasons, it isn't comforting to have the entire blame for how we are feeling placed at our feet. It isn't as if we aren't already blaming ourselves, believe it or not we feel incredibly guilty about our feelings (or at least I did and do).
And yet, it took my mother convincing me that having an OB who wasn't equally focused on my needs and my (potential) baby's needs to see that I needed to find another option. It's true, her being nice enough to me, and me worrying about her feelings if I left her practice, influenced me to the point that I wouldn't have left. It is part of anxiety to sacrifice your needs and feelings above other people's... but this was a little ridiculous even for me.
So thanks Mom, for convincing me to move on. And wish me luck in finding another OB in the area!
Since when do you care how much people like you. This is not the T that sat on the couch making fun of everyone in the whole world with me all the time. I think you need to channel a little of her. You should take someone with you when you go to the doctor. I had to start doing that because I can't remember everything I want to say. I get all anxious and just talk complete nonsense. That and you should ask people you know about their OBGYN's and try them out even if they are far away because thats easier than flying blind. I also suggest never going to a women, as everyone I've ever been to sucks. And not just normal sucking but how did they even let you become a Dr. kind of sucking. But thats just me.
Posted by: b at March 30, 2008 08:49 AMYou're welcome! ;) Glad to be of SOME service! As for her feeling bad about you not coming back - do you KNOW how busy those dr.s are? I love B's comments about female drs. Take Scott w/you or if he can't go I could carve out some time to go with you.
I went to a woman dr. about my ankle that was hurt and she berated me for wearing my Birkenstocks as they are rough on the ankles - ah shut-up!!! - I wanted to say - and never went back.
The dr. obviously has NO bedside manner and you don't want her talking to you like that when your contractions are 2 mins apart! Cause then you'll probably kick her - yeah - you can get your feet out of those things If you try really hard! :)
Love you Ten and take a deep breath - it will all work out.
I know what you mean about others feeling getting hurt though - yeah - I EVEN worry about that. :)
Love,
Mom
you should have punched her in the nose and then said, "why don't you stop bleeding? Not so easy is it?!"
I hope you're feeling better.
Love ya,
R
Good for you! Good luck finding a new doctor -- I think the good ones are few and far between, you have to really shop around! (Just to be fair, I have heard the same thing about lawyers). :) I am sure you will find someone great!
Posted by: Jessica at April 2, 2008 11:36 AMb - I've always cared if people liked me, I just don't care all the time if I like THEM!
R- hilarious! I think I might be arrested for assault then... am I right?
Jess - thanks! The midwife way might be the way to go... but no drugs???? aaaahhh! all I remember is Mara saying 'my anestigiologist was WONDERFUL!' after she gave birth.
Posted by: 10lees at April 3, 2008 10:01 AMIn California they refer to it as 'battery.' which is the unlawful use of force against the person of another. Assault would be the unlawful 'attempt' to use force against the person of another. Because you made contact with the person, it's battery.
My brain is overloaded with too much useless information. :-)
Love ya
R