Why when you get out of college is your life suddenly boring? It seems as if in college you crammed in all the living you could and then once you are out all you are doing is working and going home to your cat. Occasionally you will go out on a few dates, but you are never sure if this person is the 'one'. Is there even a one? Or is it just a matter of falling in love with someone? I know that I have never believed that there was one perfect person out there for me, maybe because I have never met anybody that 'completed me' and I (quite honestly) don't think there is or that I should rely on another person to make me feel complete. Perhaps there is someone who will make me sure of myself and make me comfortable and make me happy and someone I whole heartedly love, that's what I want. But love is such a finicky thing, it always seems to be hard to come by and it always involves being able to trust. I wonder if I am capable of falling in love again.
I still have friends that are getting married, friends that are single, friends that are married and friends that might be (unfortunately) getting divorced. (and it was the one relationship I could claim any sort of credit for too... dammit!) Through it all I have lived through these friends, but I have never understood what it is that makes one so determined that you do love this person. I am afraid I wasted my chance on love a long time ago, and that I'm never going to capture it again...
Maybe I just have these questions when I am dating someone new and have had so many crappy dating experiences that I wonder if he will be right... or not. And which would be worse, falling in love and being rejected, making him fall in love and being the rejector, or falling in love with each other and being married forever...
It is better to have loved and lost than never to have loved at all, but I have loved and lost and I am not convinced it was better....
Posted by 10lees at May 12, 2005 10:28 AM